Future Perfect
by ilovenascar
Summary: Claire's accident and hospital scenes as seen by the people who love her most. CA, TN
1. Tess

Title: Future Perfect

Name: April

Spoilers: any with Peter in them, takes place after Claire's accident in 'Future Perfect'

* * *

I'm in the place I never wanted to be with anyone that I loved ever again. The white sheets, beeping machines, hose and tubes are all-too familiar...I don't want to go through this again. I've gone through it with Mum...I can't lose Claire too. Just like when I was little, I can't prevent it, all I can do is sit here and hold her hand. Now I know what Nick meant when he'd described his accident, all the people running, medics, doctors, nurses, everyone just running. All I can do is just pray that she wakes up again. She's so pale that she almost matches the sheets. This can't be Claire. This small, fragile, helpless woman can't be my sister. She's too still; Claire's never still. Claire's the one that's up at five everyday, even Sundays. She's worked so hard, on Drover's, with the breeding program she's started with Alex. This has to get better...she has to get better. I close my eyes, wanting to think of other things. Our family...where is our family? Meg and Jodi went back to Drover's with Alberto, I haven't seen Becky, she'd probably with Brick...where is Alex? I remember him at the ambulance with us. Oh, yeah. He's taking care of Brave J. Claire's first words were worry for that horse. Of course Alex will want to assure Claire that he's fine. What about Roy? That dog means the world to Claire; Dad gave him to her. I remember. Meg's got him with my alpacas. I wonder what Dad would do now, what he would think. Would he have been able to stop Claire from riding? I sure couldn't.

The beeping only intensifies my train of thought. I'm terrified. Not just for Claire and my niece or nephew, but for me. Mum and Dad are gone...Sally and Liz won Nick. Claire's advice runs through my head again. All she asked me to do was not to hurt Nick. That's exactly what I did...only I got hurt too, like always. I watch a male nurse check Claire and the door opens again.

Alex is here. He looks tired, actually scared and helpless, like I am, like we all are.I look at his sling. If nearly killing Claire, breaking her heart, getting her pregnant, and almost taking Drover's werent bad enough, Peter had to physically hurt Alex. I remember the worry in Claire's voice as she called Alex's name, running to Alex's side, after Peter had 'accidently' run into him with the horse. Then of course, after Nick popped Alex's shoulder back in, Nick and Sally had walked off together. I finally get it. I've lost him. Do I have to lose Claire too?

"She settled in?" Alex finally asks.

I nod. "She lost a lot of blood." I remember it gushing out of Claire...I was so helpless...just like when I saw her on the ground after her accident, just like Alex was in Nick's accident. "Her leg's pretty bad. She'll be in here for months."

"She'll love that." I force a smile for him, already hearing exactly how my sister will react. It doesn't matter though. I'll manage. Meg and Alex will help, I"m sure. The only thing that matters is that Claire's alive, that Peter hasn't killed her.

"What about?" Alex nods his head, but I understand the meaning. It must be hard for him. He never liked Peter, but Claire doesn't usually keep secrets from Alex. What a way to find out, when I told the medics, the same time as Peter. If he'd known she was pregnant, he never would have allowed her to ride, no matter what he had to do. Maybe one of us could have prevented it. Maybe if I'd told Alex about the baby, even if it was behind Claire's back, at least she wouldn't be hurt.

"She's still pregnant." Alex said he was the father. I know that's a lie. No matter how much time they've been spending together, the baby is Peter's. Claire never really had to tell me that. Claire asked him to lie to Peter though, not that I blame her. Peter almost destroyed her; Alex helped bring Claire back to us.

Alex turns to leave when Claire finally speaks. "What did I miss?"

Alex sits down in a chair close to the bed as I reach in my pocket, pulling out the letter. Peter had it in his pocket all that time I was looking in his room. I'd wanted to hit him; I have a feeling Claire would have and have no doubt Alex would have. He was torn between trying to kill Peter and trying to save Claire when I arrived at the accident. "Claire...I got the letter. Look." Claire can barely open her eyes, so I return the letter to my pocket. She knows...she knows we still have Drover's.

I look across the bed and see the look on Alex's face. There's more there than just concern for a mate. The way he stroked Claire's hair while the medics were checking her out, held her hand, the way that he looked at her then and now...how long have I been oblivious to his feelings for her? Does Claire know? Unlike with his other girlfriends since we broke up, I'm not upset, not jealous, I just hope Claire sees it before it's too late, that she doesn't lose him like I lost Nick.

I hold Claire's hand again, to comfort both of us, and the door opens. I never expected to see Nick here, at least not tonight, but why shouldn't he be? Nick and Alex are her best mates. When I first moved back, I thought that she and Nick were interested in each other. Claire's the glue that holds Alex and Nick together while Liz and Harry try to rip them apart.Nick looks at Claire and sits in the chair closest to the door, then looks at me. I don't know what it means, but right now only Claire and the baby matter, getting them well, where they belong. I turn my attention to Claire, who has fallen asleep again. Alex's hand is at her hairline, brushing her hair gently with his fingers again, I'm holdingher hand, and Nick's next to the door. Claire's got all the family she needs; we'll provide the strength for her...all she has to do is come back home.


	2. Alex

I'm driving as fast as I can towards the hospital, careful of anyone else on the road, but wanting to get to Claire's side again. Claire had asked about the horse, so I made sure that he was calm and well taken care of before leaving. Terry is taking care of him for us and then checking on the girls. Claire will want to know that everyone's all right. She loves those girls: Becky and Jodi like two more little sisters, Meg like the mother she never really had. I never really realized how dysfunctional our family is until today. The only person related to Claire in her family is Tess and they didn't grow up together. The girls might have a lot of fights, but it's because they love each other. Well, that and Claire's always been one of the most stubborn women I've ever known. Today, at the accident, Meg and Tess had kicked into action: Tess by talking to Claire, trying to wake her up, and then her revelation. Meg, of course, had been arranging everything so that Claire didn't worry. What did my family do? Nick stood there with Sally, Mum stood there by herself with that look on her face that is usually reserved for Tess, and only Dad asked me if he could help.

I can't stop thinking about what happened, running over the events in my head. Peter hit me with his horse, so I couldn't ride. The next thing I knew, Claire was on Brave J, ready to go. She was afraid of jumps, but I didn't know she was pregnant. I would have fought her all the way if I had, probably would still have lost, but at least I would have tried. I should have gone to watch her, cheer her on...I don't know why I didn't. A rider came back, yelling that Claire was hurt. Terry helped me on a horse...the only thing I was thinking about was getting to Claire. She was on the ground when I got there, her eyes closed, blood everywhere, and so still I thought she was dead. I don't know why I flashed on Nick under the bull. The next thing I knew I was trying to kill Peter...I should have killed him. I haven't felt that helpless in years, that scared. I remember kneeling by her head, stroking her hair, and I remember Tess calling, as frightened as I was. She, Claire, and the medic were the only ones I was aware of...I didn't realize the whole town had come. They put her on oxygen and then on the stretcher and I was there when Tess said that Claire was pregnant. Pregnant. I was surprised that she didn't tell Peter the truth, but I covered for her, I told him the baby was mine. Tess probably knows the truth, but I don't care. Claire needed me and that was the only thing I could do to help her, that and drive to the hospital to go be with the girls. Tess walked after Peter, coming back minutes later, and rode with Claire, holding her hand. Dad, Terry, and Meg were the first ones to me: Terry offering to take care of Brave J, Meg frightened about Claire, and Dad offering to drive me or anything else Claire or I needed, a first for him, something that really surprised me and I know Claire will get a kick out of.

I wonder how Jack would have handled today, handled Peter. I wanted to kill him...I still want to kill him. If someone had told me when Claire and I went to the seminar that all this would be happening, I would have told them they were mad. Claire had hated Peter then, been angry at me for talking to him. Of course it didn't help that he thought we were married. So much has happened between then and now. Two relationships, a broken heart, nearly a broken friendship. We've both started to work for AB and both called it off. We started our own training program, Peter proposed to Claire to which she accepted and called off, and she's pregnant. That's only the things that had to do with Peter...not the robbery or Tess and Nick. No wonder she's looked so tired...no wonder I'm so confused. I can't believe this is happening, that Claire's hurt. I just got her back. Every week, she seems more like the Claire that we missed for so long. Now Peter took her away again.

I guess it's why these past two days have been so hard. Hardest of all was the possibility of losing Drover's Run. It's so strange. I don't feel a thing for Kilarney, where I was born and raised, worked most of my life, but I'm proud of Wilgul and I love Drover's almost as much as Claire and Tess do. Drover's is a sanctuary, where I don't have to be the failing son, the big brother...Claire and I are just together and it's great. I've always loved doing things with her, campouts, fox hunts, anything at all. I've almost lived there since Jack died, first as Tess's boyfriend, now as Claire's partner. It was where I got up the nerve to tell her I loved her. Of course, I was drunk and I let her think that was the reason I said what I did...partly because of Peter and Tess. Still, I do love her and seeing her go back to Peter almost killed me. So what did I do? I got mad at her, yelled at her, and told her we wouldn't be partners, wouldn't be mates, nothing, just neighbors. What if that was the last thing she ever heard me say? I'd never been so relieved when Peter said she'd changed her mind. He would have settled for that month with her. If I ever have my chance, I'd want more.

"McLeod, Claire McLeod," I tell the nurse, finally arriving.

"Right in there, sir," she points me to Claire's room.

I stand outside for awhile, afraid to go in, afraid to see her, and when I open the door and go in, I know why. She's so pale, so still, that I don't want to believe it's Claire. There are so many machines and she looks so terrible that I'm suddenly thankful I didn't go see Nick when we were younger. Claire's accident keeps reminding me of the rodeo. I came so close to losing Nick...I can't lose Claire.

"She settled in?" I finally find my voice to ask.

Tess nods. "She lost a lot of blood." I remember it gushing out of Claire. She was hurting so bad and I couldn't help her, just like when I couldn't help Nick. "Her leg's pretty bad. She'll be in here for months."

"She'll love that." I can picture her now...when she's more awake and we tell her she can't go home to the land she loves and fought so hard for. She'll kill Tess and me, then scare all the nurses away. I'll be here though...I'm not about to leave her.

"What about?" I nod my head, able to think about her being pregnant, but not able to actually say the word. I think again about how I found out and what Claire asked me to do. I know there'll be a lot of explaining to do, but I don't care. All that matters is Claire.

"She's still pregnant." I'm thankful for that. Claire wants a family; I'm not sure she could handle losing someone else she loves, especially if it's her first child.

I turn to go get some coffee for Tess; I know it's not the fancy type she usually likes, but she looks tired and Claire will need us later. "What did I miss?" Claire asks and I feel something pulling at my heart at just those four words. I turn, pulling a chair up where she can see me and know everything's okay.

"Claire...I got the letter. Look." Tess pulls Claire's missing letter out of her pocket and I suddenly realize what she and Peter were talking about. Claire can't even open her eyes, but I still know Claire realizes it's over, Drover's is safe. Still, something inside of me hurts so bad seeing her like this. I know she'll be okay, eventually, but, until today, I've never really thought of losing her. I've never been in love before, not even with Claudia or Tess, and that fact scares me as much as the sight of her so still, so quiet. I remember the day we decided to become partners, her smile, the light in her eyes, even the dirt fight. I watch her, wanting her to open her eyes, say something else, something that can make me believe that she'll be all right.

Tess and I both look as the door opens and Nick comes in. I didn't expect Nick to be here, but I'm not surprised. Claire's his mate too; she's the one he turned to when the mess with Dad got to be too much. She's there every time our family falls apart, to pick both of us up, try to help us. Sometimes I think she's really the only thing Nick and I have in common, Claire and growing up in that house. He talked me into starting the partnership with Claire and we've gotten to be better mates living apart than we ever were growing up brothers at Kilarney. He sits near the door, not talking, and I turn my attention back to Claire, brushing her hair gently with my fingers again. It's okay if Claire doesn't wake up right now, because she will, and we'll be right here waiting. 


End file.
